You look like you could use a bottle of wine, so here I am. I’m here completely and only for you. You can whine if you want. I’ll try to console you. Or you can just cry. That’s cool. I’m made for quaffing.

Life can be a pain. Trust me, I know. I’ve been stepped on — walked all over, in fact. I’ve been squeezed dry and put in a barrel. Believe me when I say we’ll get through this — whatever this is — together.

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